27 May 2006
WASTING MY TIME
updates on my effing family.
lets see lets see. my mom just kinda said to me a moment ago that if "she" becomes like my aunt, it's gonna kinda be our fault cause we contributed for PROVOKING her EVERYTIME and that it is ALWAYS THE ELDER SIBLINGS' FAULT and that WE SHOULD STOP PROVOKING HER OR SHE'LL BECOME MAD. BUT you see, WE, did NOT provoke her. i know that my parents love her not only as their daughter but more than that that she's a nice girl that cares for others and puts others before her. but sorry, i seriously and solemnly think that it was due to THEIR upbringing of her that she became like that. crying and screaming at people even to the extent of hitting while screamin. just the thought of it is umimaginable. nothing comes even close. im sorry but i think people at the asylum are more civilised than she is. why oh why wasnt she brought to my aunt's place like crystal and i were? perhaps then it'll be better now wont it?
recaping the past,
using a scissors and wanting to stabity stab stab me.
throwing just-sharpened-colour-pencils and throwing it at us.
poking a pencil to the side of my head that it bled.
causing me such anger i actually broke a glass causing a scar on my left palm.
the main cause of reason why i even though of and even prepared a bag to run away to my aunt's house even at the tender age of ten.
causing me to be reprimanded by my dad just because I THREW A PILLOWAT HER.
and again, reprimanded for THROWING just one cube of ICE at her. it DIDNT EVEN TOUCH HER. im sorry i missed.
the MAIN MAIN cause i my misery at home.
seriously. nothing and nobody knows what i feel about her. the hatred is too much to bear.
at least a week of peace at kuala lumpur would do me good. a week without her is really bliss. the serenity and friends without any screaming and shouting and scolding. what can enlighten my parents and all of us so that we'll know what to do with her?
she's got everybody fooled.
_____________________________________________________________